I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant like it was yesterday, which is saying a lot because I don’t have the greatest memory in the world! I remember the fear as I waited for the pregnancy test results, telling myself over and over it wasn’t REALLY happening and that I was being overdramatic. Every mental attempt I could use to convince myself I had no reason to fret.
I also remember feeling nothing when I received the results that I was approximately 5 weeks pregnant from the nurse. There was no emotion for several minutes. I was empty. Like all breath had left my lungs and had been replaced with a weight. I walked back to the lobby and met the eyes of my boyfriend, and now father of my child. He knew. As soon as he looked in my eyes, I’m sure he had to know. We walked to his truck in silence. I opened the door, got in, sat down, and finally fell into a pool of emotions that could only manifest physically through tears.
I remember him asking me why I was crying. He tried to comfort me. I suppose it hadn’t quite hit him yet. He said it would be okay. I wasn’t so sure.
I also remember the conversation with him the next day when he said he wasn’t ready to be a father and left.
At the time I was 18. I didn’t have a license. I was a freshman in college.
And now I was also a single mother, pregnant and alone.
My story is not unique. It is not unlike the many women before and after me that have found themselves in the same situation.
Maybe just like you.
What is also NOT unique, is that my child is amazing. He is incredibly intelligent, goofy, and so sweet! I cannot imagine life with out him. I hear it time and time again when I connect with other women that found themselves in an unplanned pregnancy that we wouldn’t go back and change anything. Our children are a gift.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell myself where I would end up.
I had to work hard.
Mentally. Physically. Financially.
But I can tell you, it is worth it. This child is worth it. You may not see it now but hold onto that hope. I can’t go back and tell 18-year-old me that. But I can tell you. I see you. And this is part of your story that will shape you into a stronger, more resilient, confident woman!
You can do it alone, but you don’t have to.